my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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