I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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