I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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