hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Nicole vs. Life
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
