i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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