Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
