You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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