Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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