There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Everclear isn't food dammit
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
