it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
