So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize