escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
