just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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