Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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