we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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