He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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