I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
