I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
