Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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