So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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