This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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