i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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