I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize
