Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
