I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
