oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
