I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You brought string cheese to the strip club
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
