There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
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