Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize