omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I touched a dick in church today
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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