Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
