i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
They have beer where we have blood.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
