Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
