you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
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