Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
