dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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