I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
