I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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