She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
