why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm like, not good at living.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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