I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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