She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
