Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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