Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
