fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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