five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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