She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize