your parents love me but you hate me
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
