I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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