is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
