xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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