You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
