never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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