Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
