I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
