Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
