sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize