R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Randomize
