Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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