absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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