The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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