so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize