When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
