She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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