Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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