i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
