her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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