Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
