Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
