Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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