I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
