Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
