Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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