You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
