he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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