i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
