batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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