i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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