I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
