Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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