this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
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