We won't sleep together?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
