So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
